Let's make some money people

Have fun and profit while antagonizing the media

Our Scheme Broken Down into 7 Easy Steps:

  1. Call yourself a pharmaceutical company1, so that you can buy the American manufacturing rights for a drug that is no longer under patent protections.2 This drug should be something that is both cheap and necessary for some people to consume, to stay alive.3 It is important not to actually engage in any serious research and development, since both of these activities are very expensive.

  2. Identify all companies that are publicly following a similar strategy to your own. Short their stocks.

  3. Call yourself a hedge fund too. Own a few long positions in the biotech industry. If anyone accuses you of manipulating a market, your lawyers can say, "we are a hedgefund, we take short and long positions on various stocks, this is what we do".4

  4. Read a lot of Ayn Rand5 and pick up the various slogans from the Captains of Industry -- you will need these shortly, as, obnoxious talking points in your media campaign. Pick up a copy of Nassim Taleb's Antifragile6, read it and actually believe some of it too. He will teach you how to profit from antagonizing the media.

  5. Become the very definition of Antifragile, by making yourself a target of ridicule and resentment. You can do this by raising the cost of your life saving medicine by over 5000 percent.7 The timing of this move is important: do this during the Democratic presidential primaries. Accept all interview requests so that you can make public comments that will aggravate any decent minded person.5 Purposely antagonize the media.

  6. Hedge against step 5, by cherry picking8 a few studies which show that your medicine actually harms a few people. Remember, all medicines harm a few people -- so a few such studies like this should exist. Suggest that your incredible profits will be going into the research and development of a better version of your product. It is important to not be too believable at this point -- take cover under these sort of of talking points, but not so well as to actually convince an informed investor.

  7. Wait, obnoxiously tweet9, then profit10. If a strong Democratic candidate comments that she will stop you11 and your ilk, buy back your short positions and make great gains.

This is the partial story of Martin Shkreli who is the CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals, but it could be the story of someone else in 2019. I say it is the partial story, since it is unlikely that he recognized the benefits of the timing of his price hike. I have found no evidence that he successfully shorted his sister companies -- he just doesn't seem that kind of smart.

A Better Idea

Convince someone else to run such a media campaign, then invest in them and short their sister companies.

The general shape of the stratagem holds every 4 years.

Our diabolical scheme involves the following keywords and phrasing:

  • Daraprim
  • Pyrimethamine
  • Martin Shkreli (like the Albanian Tribe)
  • Hedgefund managers
  • Shorts
  • Turing Pharmaceuticals
  • Toxoplasmosis
  • Toxoplasma gondii
  • 12700 prescriptions per year
  • A Drug price hike of $13.50 to $750
  • That same Drug available in Brazil for $0.02 a pill
  • Hillary Clinton Announcement causes a 5 percent aggregate drop in biotech stocks